If you are not able to trust your partner or respect him/her, it’s not a healthy sign, warns Shalini Singh.
Ever felt like you don’t really know the person you are going out with?
Even after spending days and months together with this person, you know that something is not right. That this relationship is not going anywhere.
How does one know if s/he has picked the wrong guy/girl?
Here are some tell tale signs you shouldn’t ignore in a relationship.
1. When your expectations do not match
When two people from different upbringing and thoughts come together, chances are they’ll embrace their differences and get along really well. Or they may fall apart.
But when you are in a long term relationship, it is important to have realistic expectations.
While both of you may seek a committed relationship, one may define it as marriage and the other as mere companionship.
One of you may feel responsible for being there emotionally and financially for parents which may not be acceptable to the other.
Your partner may not want to have children while you may want to start a family.
If you have more than one concern/s, have a conversation and see if there is a middle ground.
If not, you are dating the wrong person.
2. When there is undesired aggression
Sometimes, it is okay to get angry or lose your cool.
But you cannot be insulting and demeaning all the time.
If your partner is unable to control his/her aggression and this occurs more often than desired, consider it as a red flag.
3. When there is no time for the relationship
We all deserve to have a life beyond the four walls of our office.
There is nothing wrong in expecting your partner to find time for you or your relationship.
If you are tired of listening to excuses like ‘I am busy’ ‘I cannot make it this time’ it’s time you expressed how you felt.
If you feel that your partner is not genuinely apologetic and is being extremely defensive about not finding time, it’s best to move on and rather find someone who is willing to spare his/her time for you.
4. When s/he is secretive about his/her past
While it is unfair to judge a person for his/her past, when you are in a committed relationship, you have every right to know your partner’s past.
If you feel that s/he is being extremely secretive about his/her past, there is reason for you to worry.
5. When you are not comfortable trusting and respecting the person
The reason some people stay in a relationship is because it makes you feel comfortable.
If you are not able to trust your partner or respect him/her, it’s not a healthy sign.
You’d rather choose and live with someone who values you, keeps you happy and makes you feel safe and special.
Shalini Singh is founder of andwemet.com, a global matchmaking platform for single urban Indians over the age of 30 years.
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